Name Calling After Marriage

Last post I talked about wanting to change my surname to Gomez because as a child I watched a series called Mr Gomez, he had a wife named Betty and a daughter named Millie. He was the ultimate dad and husband.

I wanted to be Gomez's girl first as a child then as an adult living in some delusional world that the perfect man existed.

You may ask, why I would want to change my name at all.

We are all born with a name that is given to us, one we don't choose.  Take Apple Paltrow Martin or Blanket Jackson,  Moon Unit Zappa and Pilot Inspektor Lee.

Now I have to say I aside from Blanket I think these are all cool names and point out it doesn't matter what I think because these names highly likely came out of love, some sort of magic mushroom trip or childbirth delirium.

The point is we are all stuck with the names given to us until we are of a legal age to change them.

I'm happy with my first name, it's short, five letters long. (I can't tell you what it is because I'm anonymous) It's a gender nuetral name, simple and more often and not people comment, 'itsn't that a man's name.'

My original surname wiped in marriage and now a constant reminder of him, my husband, the one I want to leave.

It's on my licence, my passport, my payslip and every letter I receive.

I have lost me.

I didn't put much thought into taking his name at the time, he told me I had to take on his family name if I wanted to be his wife.

I agreed without hesitation because I hated my maiden name. The name I was born with, my father's name.

I won't go into it because he's history, my father (which he never acted as) or probably better described as the part maker of me, he's gone out of my life.  He was a bad example of a father and that of a man and I hated being branded with his name.

I thought about changing it to my mother's maiden name but my grandfather was a grumpy old bastard, my mother often weak in decisions which made me decide I didn't want to be associated with anyone of my past.

Thus Gomez.  I will become **** Gomez.  The Gomez Girl.

I once overheard a conversation between two women at the coffee shop where I work.

"So the divorce is final. What did you get?" one asked.

"After ten years of marriage and hard work, all I got from him was his name." said the defeated but free woman.

She went on to explain that he had their financials set up so tight that not even a navy seal could get through but was proud she escaped and didn't want anything off him, especially not his name.

She would have to begin the process of changing her name back to her maiden but like myself, she was estranged from her family and didn't want to be reminded of them either.  I hope she reads this and becomes a Gomez Girl like me.

Some surnames have a rich proud history that you would wear proud, others are a permanent reminder of a shady or sad past.

So I call out to all the women out there who are stuck with a name from a father they never see, a husband that has shafted them, for all those that are looking for a new surname, change your name to Gomez.

We'll conquer the world together knowing we have planted the seed to unite us all under one name, one we have chosen to be that isn't related to anything other than identifying us as a bunch of awesome kickass women who survived.

Become a Gomez Girl and share your stories and let's take over the world.

We will find happiness again, possibly love but for now, let's find one another.

And for all those guys that have been shafted, join us to. Gomez Guys welcome.

A place for good, honest, loyal people that have strength, decency and commonsense.

Do you know a Gomez Girl or someone who should be one?  Tag them on my Instagram share this post to spread the word to all those who are name stuck.

xx

GG

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